Shombhu always intrigued Tani.
His balcony that overlooked the streets was diagonally opposite Granny’s drawing room. Every time Tani visited Granny, she would see him perambulating the narrow stretch of space gesturing animatedly and constantly talking. However, his conversations were always with someone who was only visible to him.
Everyone in their neighbourhood knew him as ‘Mad Shombhu’.
But Tani thought otherwise.
He was a tall, fair, and handsome man of about 40-45 years of age. A thick mop of curly white hair and a salt and pepper stubble gave him a crazy scientist look. He would always wear a white sleeveless vest and loose white pyjamas.
Tani observed him intently as he walked up and down the balcony. At certain phases in his conversation, his eyes would light up and his face brighten. Just as if he had won an argument. At other times, he would clench his teeth, narrow his eyes and roll his hands into a fist. It was apparent he was angry with the other person and was preparing for a fight.
All this amused ten-year-old Tani immensely.
She had once asked her mother about Shombhu. Swati had shaken her head sadly.
“Shombhu was a very intelligent man. An academic genius he had topped his engineering batch. Don’t know what happened and he suddenly lost his mind completely.”
“Aww don’t you know about that girl he was in love with” Savita, Granny’s help butted in stopping midway while mopping the floor. She squatted on the floor one hand on the wet mop. Her eyes glittered zealously at the hint of a good gossip. “Everybody says it was all because of her. She finished him off and left him raving mad” she said shaking her head and gnashing her teeth in anger.
“Hush Savita” Granny admonished “No need to discuss all that in front of Tani now.”
Feeling chided Savita returned to her work, leaving Tani even more intrigued.
There were days when Shombhu would sit completely still. He would neither gesture nor talk. Tani found that odd.
“Ahh! Don’t you know it is Amavasya today! They all turn a bit strange during these days” Savita informed Tani raising her eyebrows and rolling her eyes. Tani was curious to know more about how a new Moon night was responsible for turning Shombhu silent but refrained from doing so when she noticed Granny looking at Savita with a stern look.
Power cuts were a regular occurrence at Granny’s place, especially during summers. Just when the heat was at its height, electricity boards in the city would decide to take a break too and a pall of darkness would descend on the whole neighbourhood.
Even on such nights, Tani would notice Shombhu walking around in his balcony. Light from the single candle in his room illuminating his tall lean silhouette. He looked lonely but she knew he was never alone. His invisible companion was always with him.
One hot sultry night, Tani left her sweat soaked bed and plopped down on the large settee in Granny’s drawing room and rested her hot head on the metal grill in front. The cool surface felt good. A sound from above made her look up.
She noticed Shombhu on the balcony above. It was one of his silent days. She had not seen him speak a single word through the day.
She saw him now shuffling up and down the balcony. He looked agitated but not in the usual angry way. It was almost as if he was pleading. Tani could not make out what he was saying but it seemed as if he was trying to reason with his friend about something.
Suddenly, he stopped. He stood now facing her. Tani sat still. In the surrounding darkness, she was sure he could not see her but something in the way he looked at her made her feel differently. She could feel a prickle run along the back of her neck and down her arms.
Soon he turned around and went inside his room. When he came back, he held a candle in his hand. He peered down. His eyes, two tiny glittering globes, looking straight into her upturned face.
Tani shrank back wondering if he could really see her.
Shombhu stood still for a moment before stretching out his hand. The candle flame flickered with the movement. In the brief light, Tani could see his face. It was swollen and flustered just as if he had been crying.
Slowly she saw him raise his face towards the black sky above.
“Leave if you must. But you will not be alone this time!” Shombhu’s voice, frail and high pitched, rang out in the dark making her jump.
Tani wondered what he meant. She stared back at Shombhu who stood still holding the candle in his outstretched hands for several moments. Tani saw the wax melt, caking his hands with its white residue. She winced knowing how it must burn. But Shombhu seemed unfazed.
As Tani watched, Shombhu looked at her once more before retreating to his room dragging his feet behind him, his face wearing a tired look.
The whole incident left Tani baffled.
The look in his eyes did mean something. But Tani’s young mind was unable to decipher its meaning. Was he really trying to convey a message to her or was she imagining things?
Confused, sweaty and bewildered she decided to tell Savita in the morning. She would surely help her unravel the mystery.
Shombhu however, made things easier for her.
A huge uproar pierced through her sleep waking her up reluctantly. Still rubbing her eyes, she moved out of bed to find everybody gathered in the drawing room. As she joined them and peered over their shoulders she noticed Grandpa standing beneath Shombhu’s house hands on his hips. The place was teeming with police and people from their neighbourhood.
“He killed himself last night!” Savita whispered to Tani excitedly “Burnt himself alive!”
“The poor dear” Granny sighed sadly clicking her tongue “What a waste of a life.”
Tani stood dumbstruck.
Was that his message to her last night? A final goodbye to the only living soul who acknowledged his existence.
For Shombhu, Tani had probably been his last bridge to the world of sanity. The last anchor that kept his lost soul afloat in the sea of humanity. Maybe somewhere within the gathered clouds clying his mind, Shombhu knew it was time to pull out that anchor and set himself adrift.
As she stood watching, they brought down his body. Tani noticed that the half-burnt candle was still clasped in his hands. A pain sharp as a needle pricked her little heart.
They took him away and locked up the house. A few neighbours accompanied them to the crematorium. The rest left for their homes.
Granny moved towards the kitchen calling out to Savita and Grandpa came back to sit down with his newspaper. Savita shouted out to the garbage van to wait for her to throw out the rubbish.
The crows cawed with their usual vigour and the street vendors went their ways harking their wares to attract new buyers.
The world slowly returned to their own chores.
But would any of them still remember Shombhu? Tani wondered.
Probably they would but only as “Mad Shombhu”.
But was he just that?
Once upon a time he was a man with a life and a love. A man who had laughed with them. Will no one remember him or shed a single tear for him?
Will the happy, intelligent, and loving Shombhu that everyone once knew be lost forever?
Maybe yes.
And would Tani be among them too? Would she too forget this hapless man?
The charred balcony opposite their house, lonely and forsaken, questioned Tani with a vacant stare.
A silent tear trickled down her cheeks as a requiem for the face that time will soon forget.
Photo by Raphael Brasileiro: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-s-face-2401442/
